Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
