idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
