We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
