I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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