; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
