If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
