She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
