pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i out mim tonsoeep
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
