OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
