I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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