I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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