Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize