Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
