Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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