just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
