guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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