Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
