you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Randomize
