It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
