I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
