Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
