Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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