Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Quick, to the slutcave!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
