There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
