You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I need moral support for this bender
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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