She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize