Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
