So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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