i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize