I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Drunk is not a location!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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