R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
