if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm both gender and math confused
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
