He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
