..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
