Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
