So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize