She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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