it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
