so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
