he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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