elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
