would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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