Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize