found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
