Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
