chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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