Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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