God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
