i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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