Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
