my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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