Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
