It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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