Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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