How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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