benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize