scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
