shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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