Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
