I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize