As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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