My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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