I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
