I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
