I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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