she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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