I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
