Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i think i just lost a toe
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
