no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
