Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
