Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
