And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
