So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
