I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
